Archive for the ‘George Carlin’ Category

Atheism is a non-prophet organization. -George Carlin


I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam. -George Carlin


Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.  -George Carlin


Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.  -George Carlin


I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.  -George Carlin


Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and faster than you is a maniac?  -George Carlin


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